Stress management

 

WHAT IS ANGER?

Anger is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people. Typically triggered by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling that occurs when we think we have been injured,misguided, opposed in our long-held views, or when we are faced with obstacles that keep us from attaining personal goals. "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness."The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are different for each person. People also vary in how easily they get angry (their anger threshold), as well as how comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to recognize anger when it occurs. Some experts suggest that the average adult gets angry about once a day and annoyed or peeved about three times a day. Other anger management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen times a day is more likely a realistic average. Regardless of how often weactually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable emotion. When well managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn't right. Out of control anger alienates friends, co-workers and family members. It also has a clear relationship with health problems and early mortality. Hostile, aggressive anger not only increases your risk for an early death, but also your risk for social isolation, which itself is a major risk factor for serious illness.

Anger Management

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological outburst that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

ANGER, DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AGGRESSION, RAGE AND HOSTILITY

Aggression is an intentional desire to harm someone, especially a physical or militaryattack, directed against another person or country, often without provocation.

Anger is an emotion. It's a temporary reaction to a frustrating situation.

Rage is when anger explodes into completely irrational behavior and there is a loss of self-control.

Hostility is a chronic state of anger and antipathy towards people.

MYTHS ABOUT ANGER

1. Anger is inherited.

2. Anger automatically leads to aggression.

3. People must be aggressive to get what they want.

4. Suppressing anger is always desirable.

CAUSES OF ANGER

"Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one"

Anger is a response to feelings of unhappiness, which in turn arise whenever we meet with unpleasant circumstances. Whenever we are prevented from fulfilling our wishes, or forced into a situation we dislike in short, whenever we have to put up with something we would rather avoid our uncontrolled mind reacts by immediately feeling unhappy. This uncomfortable feeling can easily turn into anger, and we become even more disturbed than before. Additives, Alcohol etc

The other main reason we become unhappy and angry is because we are faced with a situation we do not want or like. Every day we encounter hundreds of situations we do not like, from stubbing our toe or having a disagreement with our partner, to discovering that our house has burnt down or that we have cancer; and our normal reaction to all of these occurrences is to become unhappy and angry. However, try as we might, we cannot prevent unpleasant things happening to us. We cannot promise that for the rest of the day nothing bad will happen to us; we cannot even promise that we shall be alive to see the end of the day.

STYLES OF ANGER

Each of us develops their own special style of anger:

A person may yell, curse, and offer gestures to other drivers when s/he is in a hurry and frustrated.

A person may shut down in a chair and stop speaking and looking at others.

A person may take her/his frustration out only on the ones s/he loves.

A person may disregard the object of his annoyance by reading the paper, forgetting to run an errand, or playing the radio too loudly. When s/he is confronted, the response is: I didn't know; I forgot; I'm tired.

A person may blame everybody for everything and rarely accepts responsibility for his own short comings.

A person may believe s/he has been given the right to seek vengeance in any way for anything by using the excuse: they deserved it.

HOW DOES ANGER AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS

Anger can result in domestic violence.

People who are around the angry person tend to shut down in order not to anger the person.

Others get their feelings hurt.

Other people become defiant, become indifferent, avoid the angry person or lose respect for him/her.

EFFECTS OF ANGER ON HUMAN BODY

Emotional stress and anger trigger the release of stress hormone Cortisol in the body. Small releases of cortisol can give the body a quick burst of energy. However, higher and more prolonged increases can bring into the body many negative effects.

Anger can create:

A blood sugar imbalance

It can decrease bone density

Suppress the body's immune response and make it vulnerable to chronic inflammation

Slow down the body's metabolism

It can impair the brain's thinking ability and increase blood pressure

Anger can raise your heart rate to 180 beats a minute. It can raise your blood pressure from 120/80 to 220/ 130, perhaps even higher.

Anger also cause problem in circulation. Lack of oxygen can cause severe chest pains. Uncontrollable anger can lead tothe bursting of a brain artery resulting in a stroke.

Tight neck and head muscles can cause tension headaches, migraines or lead to insomnia.

Anger stimulates the release of acids in the stomach causing acid reflux and gastric ulcers.

Anger can also cause problems in lung function and heart.

HOW TO DEAL WITH ANGER???

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are:

Expressing

Suppressing

Calming

Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive not aggressive manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn in ward on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression. Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

STRATEGIES TO OVERCOME ANGER

When you are suddenly aware that anger has come up, try the following:

Stop whatever you are doing and get in your body. This will help ground you and bring the intensity of energy down out of your head and allow it to flow through your body. Anger lives in a tight mental state, and by shifting your awareness to your body

you will soften the tight grip of your brain and soften into the sensations of feeling.

Get up and go for a walk. Take a break from the situation you're in and get your body moving. Again this will help to release the tight mental energy of anger and get your body/ mind moving again, releasing the anger into the natural flow of your physiology.

If you are stuck at your desk, take out a pen and paper and start to write. Just write what's happening in your state of mind right now. Write down the anger, describe it, give it a voice, and express it, all on paper. This will save you from voicing it out into the atmosphere, or from suppressing it inside, both of which will continue to perpetuate further anger.

If you are alone and have room, just get on the floor, lie on your back, and breathe. This may sound strange, but if you can do it, this can help you to calm down and just breathe through the anger state. The breath is naturally calming and by placing our attention on our body breathing our state of mind can more easily settle and soften.

Make good use of humor. This is the most difficult technique to handle the anger, because you are not feeling funny. To use this technique you will have to come up with something funny. Giving people bad names could relax you and imagining a funny situation could help eliminate your anger.

When angry, people tend to jump to conclusions and often are wrong to do so. Try to understand the reason of an event or the behavior of a particular person, which triggered the anger in you. Listening to other could help you a lot in this regard.

Changing your immediate environment is another effective technique to cope with the anger. If you are inside, move out of

the place and if you are already out, try to walk a little, this would help ease the things.

RATIONAL EMOTIVE THERAPY (RET) TO CONTROL ANGER

This theory helps you to deal with your anger in a more practical way. Given below is the explanation of this theory with the help of an example:

SITUATION: You working on are an important document, your roommate trips on your computer cord and shuts down your machine.

BELEIFS: Your first reaction is, "Dammit, why did he/ she do that?"

FEELINGS AND ACTIONS: You yell at the person who unplugged the computer and blame them for all the work you lost.

DISPUTE: You start to question your demandingness: Accidents happen. God knows I'm clumsy enough myself. It's not like him/her to do it on purpose.

REALISTIC GOALS: You decide in future you would like to have less risk of having your work interrupted and lost by unexpected intrusions without making anyone unhappy.

CONSTRUCTIVE OPTIONS: You opt for options like moving the computer cord to make it harder to accidently unplug and saving your work more often.

PUT OPTION INTO PRACTICE: You move your computer cord and you set up your programs to auto save every three minutes.

WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR CALM

Find a quite place

Take time out

Find fun distractions

Get exercise everyday

Eat right

Get enough sleep

Learn to relax

Choose friends who make you feel good

Learn to forgive and forget

What Really Matters to me About My Work?

High pay

A job I enjoy

Security

Good, comfortable conditions

Friends at work, interesting colleagues

Makes me think

A decent boss

Hours that fit in with my life and are not too long

Freedom to do things my own way

Prospects for promotion

Good training and ability to add to my skills

An inspiring boss or leader in the organization

HOW TO ENJOY WHAT YOU ARE DOING?

Enjoying life at workplace is an art to be learned. Job satisfaction is not always that happens to everyone. One will get all worked up that you can't find time to even breathe or even enjoy simple things in life. So here are some tips to enjoy your life at your workplace too and have fun at your job. If you decide to work, you might as well enjoy it.

Make up your mind to feel good at work.

You'll be surprised how much better you'll like it if you just make a deliberate decision to enjoy it.

Maintain good relationships with your boss and colleagues. Getting along with and liking people you work with makes job enjoyable.

Remember your work provides much (if not all) of your necessities and luxuries.

Keep in mind the services you are providing people through your work. The job you do helps other people. Now, it is a good feeling, isn't it.

Challenge yourself at work. Set and pursue attainable goals. Always try to do a better job. Stretch yourself and your abilities. Grow!!! That attitude can even make a dull job exciting.

Concentrate on good things about your job. Write out a list of things you like about your job.

Do more than you are paid to do. If you do just enough to barely squeak by, you'll be bored, but if you really get after it, you'll feel good about yourself. Besides, your boss will soon notice and you'll be rewarded for it.

Adopt the "this is my company" attitude. You may not actually own the companybut wherever you work, it's your company. And when you begin to feel it's your company, you'll discover a new sense of pride and fulfillment.

Often, the secret of enjoying your job is not to change your job, but to CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE. Since you have to work, might as well enjoy it.

- Go out on a team lunch, or a casual outing in the week end or a simple get together at a friends' place or in a party arranged for close colleagues at home or going to a movie with the office bunch also helps in not only having a healthy relationship with colleagues, but also to be happy, contended and enjoy life at the workplace.

SELF TEST - HOW IS YOUR ANGER?

How angry can you get??? And what are the ways to correct them. Check yourself with the below given self test:

People tell you that you need to calm down.

You feel tense much of the time.

be At work, you find yourself not saying what is on your mind.

When you are upset, you try to block the world out by watching TV, reading a book or magazine, or going to sleep.

You are drinking or smoking marijuana almost daily to help you calm down.

You have trouble going to sleep.

You feel misunderstood or not listened to much of the time.

People ask you not to yell or curse so much.

Your loved ones keep saying that you are hurting them.

Friends do not seek you out as much.

CONCLUSION: A little anger can motivate

us to take action in positive ways. A lot of anger will make us "red with rage." The pricefor anger that is out of control will drive away those whom we love the most and endanger our daily normal existence.

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