Attitude and EGO

WHAT IS ATTITUDE?

Attitude is associated with a physical neural state, verbal opinion, ideologies, and an integrated philosophy of life. Attitude is the detailed direction of human behavior. Attitude is a stage of sensitiveness and process to act.

The main difference between Attitude and Ego is that Attitude makes you to defer from others While Ego makes you alone from others...

THREE MAIN COMPONENTS OF ATTITUDE

Cognitive Component of Attitude

It refers to opinion or belief part of attitude. When you form your opinion or judgement on the basis of available information and decide whether you have a favorable or unfavorable opinion on that, it is the cognitive component of attitude. Example: "I just found out I being paid 20% less than my co-workers."

Conative Component (Emotional) of Attitude

It refers to the emotional aspect of attitude. This is perhaps the most often referred part of attitude and decides mostly the desirable or undesirable aspect of attitude. Example: "I feel angry that I am not being treated fairly."

Affective Component of Attitude

It refers to the behavioral part of attitude. If we have a positive attitude for a particular object, it is likely to be translated into a particular type of behavior, such as buying or procuring that object. Thus it is the intention to behave in a certain way. Example: "I am going to quit this job as soon as I can, and I am taking the red stapler with me."

MAJOR JOB ATTITUDES

Job satisfaction

Job Involvement

Psychological environment

Organizational Commitment

Affective commitment

Continuance commitment

Normative commitment

Perceived Organizational Support (POS)

Employee engagement

Negative Attitude and its Result

A sustained negative attitude will kill you. By far, the worst side-effect of an attitude is stress and the top fatal diseases in this country are caused, in large part, by stress. Stress turns quickly into anxiety, depression and ulcers.

Attitude in Action Results

Inconsiderate        : Worry

 Pessimistic            : Tension

Weak                     : Frustration

Rude                      : Failure

Soar                      : Sickness

Irritable              : Poverty

Inferiority           : Boredom

Indecision            : Dissatisfaction

Overcoming Negative Attitude

Work on your personal strength. Remember what F.R.E.S.H. stands for:

F : Finances

R : Relationships 

E : Environment

S : Spirituality

H: Health

Right now, write down one task for each of the Five letters (F.R.E.S.H.) that you can make an immediate improvement in.

Stop listening to that little negative voice. Counter-punch the negative self talk with a substantial dose of positive voice.

Look for alternative explanations. In many cases there could be hundreds of them, unfortunately when you are frustrated you are unable to see the forest for the trees.

Moods are contagious, both positive and negative. Do something that will place you in a positive mood, such as a daily delicious habit or speaking with any one who is known for having a positive attitude or mood.

Control your frustration. Speak slowly, breathe deeply into your heart, choose to remain calm or excuse yourself from the discussion, take a time out. Stop drinking coffee/tea.

Stop looking at the rear view mirror. Your vision of each event or situation is totally up to you. You can either choose to be negative or positive; your choice. You can either focus on your negative past or look forward to a positive future. Remember this quote: "Past failures don't equal current successes."

Watch with great care who you hang out with. Jim Rohn says "YOU become the average sum of the five people with whom you associate with.

In regards to this powerful philosophy, ask yourself these questions:

Who am I around with?

What are they doing to me?

What have they got me saying?

Where do they have me going?

What do they have me thinking?

What do they have me becoming?

Then ask yourself the big question: Is that okay?

HOW TO BECOME POSITIVE

Here are some ways to help you develop a more positive attitude:

Listen to the internal dialogue. Divide one or more sheets of paper into two columns and for a few days, jot down in the left column all the negative thoughts that come into your head. Rewrite each thought in a positive way in the second column. Practice doing this in your mind until it becomes a habit.

Get back to basics. Reconnect with old friends, take the dog for a walk, visit an art gallery or listen to your favorite music. Enjoy a long, relaxing bath, read a book, tell your child a story, or ask an older relative to tell you one! It is the simplest thing in life that gives us the most pleasure.

Help someone out. The simple act of helping others helps us to feel good. Pick up groceries for an aging neighbor, volunteer at your local hospital or read a book to someone with failing eyesight.

Find your spirituality. The secret is practicing those beliefs, either through organized spiritual associations, or simple meditation on a quiet place.Allow yourself to be loved. The ability to love and be loved is the most basic human quality. Finding ways to reconnect with others is extremely helpful in developing a positive attitude.

Allow yourself to laugh and find humor in the simplest of things. Laughter is a powerful mood elevator. If you are feeling down, read some jokes or watch a funny movie.

Participate in new physical and mental activities. It could be as easy as learning the meanings of new words or learning about new topics to build confidence.

THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conducive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favorable results. A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.

Not everyone accepts or believes in positive thinking. Some consider the subject as just nonsense, and others scoff at people who believe and accept it. Among the people who accept it, not many know how to use it effectively to get results. It is quite common to hear people say: "Think positive!", to someone who feels down and worried. Most people do not take these words seriously, as they do not know what they really mean, or do not consider them as useful and effective.

The following story illustrates the power of positive thinking:

Aman applied for a new job, but as his self-esteem was low, and he considered himself as a failure and unworthy of success, he was sure that he was not going to get the job. He had a negative attitude towards himself, and believed that the other applicants were better and more qualified than him. Aman manifested this attitude, due to his negative past experiences with job interviews.

His mind was filled with negative thoughts and fears concerning the job for the whole week before the job interview. He was sure he would be rejected. On the day of the interview he got up late, and to his horror he discovered that the shirt he had planned to wear was dirty, and the other one needed ironing. As it was already too late, he went out wearing a shirt full of wrinkles.

During the interview he was tense, displayed a negative attitude, worried about his shirt, and felt hungry because he did not have enough time to eat breakfast. All this distracted his mind and made it difficult for him to focus on the interview. His overall behavior made a bad impression, and consequently he materialized his fear and did not get the job.

Jackie applied for the same job too, but approached the matter in a different way. He was sure that he was going to get the job. During the week preceding the interview he often visualized himself making a good impression and getting the job.In the evening before the interview he prepared the clothes he was going to wear, and went to sleep a little earlier.

On day of the interview he woke up earlier than usual, and had ample time to eat breakfast, and arrived for the interview before the scheduled time.

He got the job because he made a good impression. He had also of course, the proper qualifications for the job, but so had Aman.

What do we learn from these two stories? Is there any magic employed here? No, it is

Cartoon illustrating the power of positive thinking:all natural. When the attitude is positive we entertain pleasant feelings and constructive images, and see in our mind's eye what we really want to happen. This brings brightness to the eyes, more energy and happiness. The whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even the health is affected in a beneficial way. We walk tall and the voice is more powerful. Our body language shows the way you feel inside.

POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE ATTITUDE ARE BOTH CONTAGIOUS

All of us affect, in one way or another, the people we meet. This happens instinctively and on a subconscious level, through thoughts and feelings transference, and through body language. People sense our aura and are affected by our thoughts, and vice versa. Is it any wonder that we want to be around positive people and avoid negative ones? People are more disposed to help us if we are positive, and they dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity.

Negative thoughts, words and attitude bring up negative and unhappy moods and actions. When the mind is negative, poisons are released into the blood, which cause more unhappiness and negativity. This is the way to failure, frustration and disappointment.

ALL SORTS OF EGO

Ego is being shy and not wanting to talk to people. It is a fear of what others might think of you

It is not allowing yourself to learn and grow for fear of responsibility that comes with that

It is the lack of trust towards people because your trust has been violated

Ego is thinking nobody can do better than you

Ego is the inability to accept that you need help

Ego is pride. Ego is a victim.

How to Reduce the EGO?

The ego is that part in us which feeds off praise, compliments and success. When we live in the ego we are inevitably subject to feelings of superiority / inferiority, pride and worthlessness, success and failure. If we want to avoid these negative emotions we need to transcend the ego. If we can transcend the ego, we will find that people are instinctively more attracted to us, even though we are no longer trying to impress. It may seem a great paradox, yet, limiting the role of our ego can make a radical difference to our lives.

These are some factors which can reduce the power of the Ego:

1. Don't Try to Impress

Don't speak about your own achievements. Don't drop names of great people you have met. Avoid forcing your accomplishments and success into the conversation. If you have been successful in accumulating wealth, try to keep quiet about it. All these factors may impress your own ego, but, you can guarantee they will have little impact on other people.

2. Be aware of False Modesty

Sometimes when we say. "O I'm absolutely hopeless". Actually what we are wanting is for people to respond. 'O no you are not, you are really good." Humility means that we don't take excessive pride in our achievements, but, it also means we don't exaggerate our failings in the hope of gaining sympathy.

3. Be Careful of Flattery

We need to be careful about receiving praise, in some ways it can be as difficult as receiving criticism. The problem is that the ego likes receiving praise and so we can easily become addicted to being flattered. Don't seek out people who are keen to flatter us, as this is only feeding the ego. Also, be wary of flattering other people in the hope that they will return the compliment.

4. Don't use your Religion / Spirituality to Impress

It is a mistake to feel that the practice of a religion/spiritual path gives us a moral superiority over other people. If we feel any superiority we are missing the whole point of spirituality. Spirituality is about a feeling of oneness not of proving that one path is better than others. This can be one of the most insidious types of ego. This is because when we wrap up the ego in a sense of moral superiority, we can easily trick ourselves into thinking we are reducing the ego, when actually we are strengthening it.

5. Be Aware of the Extended Ego

Ego, is not just about feeling we are better than others. Our Ego can also be expressed via national / religious feeling. When we feel a pride or superiority in our religion / nation, there is still the same problem of ego but, it is expressed through an extended sense of reality. This sense of superiority/pride is just as damaging as if it was contained to ourselves. However, we can feel that because it is not directly related to ourselves, somehow there is no ego involved.

6. Don't Speak Badly of Others

Quite often, when we speak ill of others there is a subtle attempt to make ourselves look better. We may not explicitly say it, but, when we point to someone's shortcomings we imply that we don't have these, and therefore we are much better than them. The important thing here is the motive. Be very vigilant; what is your inner motive for criticizing someone else? If it is to make you feel / look better, be very careful. The irony of course is that when we criticize someone, often we have the same imperfections ourselves, it is just that we find it easier to see them in other people.

7. What is Your Motivation for Doing Something

If nobody knew that you had done it, would you still do the action with the same intensity? Can you work without expecting reward and praise? If you can do things selflessly with no desire for people to find out, this is a sign you do not give importance to the ego. If you only do things in the hope of praise, then you are working to satisfy the ego. The sad thing is that if you really work selflessly, at some point, your efforts will receive much greater recognition because people will also come to value the selfless motivation behind the action. Try doing some things but do not let anybody know about it. In the NT (New Testament), this is what Jesus meant when he said. "and with you left hand".

8. Don't Rely on Your Physical Appearance to Impress

If you rely on your physical beauty to impress this is definitely coming from the ego. This is

not to say that beauty is a bad thing, far from it real beauty is heightened by modesty and the absence of ego. Avoid paying excessive attention to your physical looks.

To reduce our ego, we have to give great importance to our thoughts and motivation behind our actions. We have to be very strict with ourselves and work out why we are doing something. To reduce the ego, requires great vigilance, we need to reflect on each action and motivation. However, to reduce the influence of the ego, is of great value, it is the key to achieving a sense of inner peace.

CASE STUDY...

Once, a professor went to a Zen Master. He asked him to explain the meaning of Zen. The Master quietly poured a cup of tea. The cup was full but he continued to pour. The professor could not stand this any longer, so he questioned the Master impatiently, "Why do you keep pouring when the cup is full?" "I want to point out to you," the Master said, "that you are similarly attempting to understand Zen while your mind is full. First, empty your mind of preconceptions before you attempt to understand Zen."

MORAL: Ego = ideas and beliefs that we

have in our mind, we have to be welcoming towards all things in life in order to broaden our attitudes towards people and explore life.

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